Boobs. Ok .. Now someone please tell me just how does a lady forget her boobs?
The year - 2009. The season - Christmas - you know, the one to be Jolly? Well, Christmas at my house always involves approximately three parties. Why the three separate events is another story, but lets just say some people you just don’t want to mix.
Anyway, this past Christmas at the family gathering, my sister-in-law shows up like she always does, dressed to the nines. She recently lost a lot of weight, ( again) and looked wonderful. But in losing weight, as every woman who has lost a few pounds knows, the boobs go first. It is like “What? You don’t think we want the extra ‘weight’ there? Take it away from the flabby tummy, the big butt, the thunder thighs, but for goodness sake, leave the boobs!” But no, God has a sense of humor, so yep, there goes the boobs.
Anyway, since she lost the weight, and the boobs, she decided to get a set to wear. Gel filled falsies she could tuck inside the bra to let everyone know she is woman. And she is proud of them too….at least twice reaching in and pulling one out to show people. Hey, what kind of family would we be if we didn’t want to see her falsies?
After the family fun and games, Sister in law and Brother in law were doomed to spend the night at our place, since driving home after a bottle of Brandy was just not happening. We pointed happy couple ( and yes they where happy) in the direction of our spare room and off the they tottled.
The next morning after several cups of coffee and breakfast, we pointed the now not so happy but more like hung-over couple towards the front door, asking the infamous question, “Do you have EVERTHING?” ‘Yeah, Yeah… we got everything” …
No they did not. They lie.
A week later, I went into the spare room and noticed laying on the bookshelf was a bra. Hmmm…. I checked …yep, got mine on. In picking up the brassiere, I discovered under it two boobs….staring at me.
Calmly I walked out to the living room and asked Steve, “ do you want to call your sister or should I? I just found her boobs, she left them here.”
Steve looked ….blinked…then asked, “How in the hell does a woman forget her boobs?”
“ Honey, this is your sister we are talking about “
“OK…point made…. Your turn to call… I called on the underwear deal a couple of years ago….….
Just be sure to tell her I have been using them for target practice “
We are still amazed at the fact she never even missed them…and the fact it took her another week to come claim them...... Maybe boobs are just not THAT important after all…..
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Party On ... just dont forget what you came with - part one
There is nothing I enjoy more than entertaining my friends. I am often called upon to host the get - to-gethers and my Mom always called my “the Hostess with the Mostess” Plenty of food, and of course plenty of ‘beverages’. Crank up the karaoke system and we are good to go….especially after round seven …or was it eight?
Now everyone has had those great parties where you spend days returning left behind objects to the guests whom had SUCH a great time, they simply forgot they brought things with them. You know, things like jackets, shoes, handbags, cellphones, cooler, spouses, kids, underwear, boobs.
Yes, all have been left behind at my place.
Now some things, like purses, cellphones, and coolers them quickly retrieve. ( especially if coolers still have some beer in it) Other things, especially the spouses and kids, we have to really make them take them back… even going are far as doing a drive by drop off…. You know … slow the car down just enough to toss them out then peel rubber down the street. But those are items people call and ask if we have seen them. But the odder items, underwear and Boobs, well, its like they totally forgot they had them with them.
Both underwear and boobs where unexpected ‘gifts’ at Christmas time.
The Underwear first. Ladies, and some of you guys, know all about thongs. They even have a song out about them, the Thong Song. Well personally I cant see why anyone wants to deliberately wear something that crawls up the crack, but to each her own. Anyway, after about round nine, or ten, it seems that you butt goes numb. And you forget you have something wedged between the cheeks. And in the hurry of flushing out a few drinks in the bathroom to make room for more, you can fail to remember you even have them on, hence wetting them. So, what do you do? You cant keep them on…so you remove them, wash them out, then hang them in the shower, thinking, I will let them dry then put them back on.
Of course after a few more, you forget all about the flimsy piece of fabric hanging behind the shower curtain drying . And of course, you go home without them.
Well the next day, my husband found them. Swinging them around , Steve came out asking me “yours?” Once informed as to who’s they were, and considering his friend, the husband, left early the night before forgetting his wife at our place, ( lucky the just lived next door… we were spared a drive by drop off ), he of course could not resist in calling his friend up and informing him, “hey, your ol’ lady left her underwear at my place…”
After a pause, our neighbor replied… Really? … well damn! Let me check something… Damn, She made it home …Hey, You didn’t happen to find my beer coozie did you?? I would hate to lose it”
Ahhh ……Male priorities ….
Next time … the boobs….
Now everyone has had those great parties where you spend days returning left behind objects to the guests whom had SUCH a great time, they simply forgot they brought things with them. You know, things like jackets, shoes, handbags, cellphones, cooler, spouses, kids, underwear, boobs.
Yes, all have been left behind at my place.
Now some things, like purses, cellphones, and coolers them quickly retrieve. ( especially if coolers still have some beer in it) Other things, especially the spouses and kids, we have to really make them take them back… even going are far as doing a drive by drop off…. You know … slow the car down just enough to toss them out then peel rubber down the street. But those are items people call and ask if we have seen them. But the odder items, underwear and Boobs, well, its like they totally forgot they had them with them.
Both underwear and boobs where unexpected ‘gifts’ at Christmas time.
The Underwear first. Ladies, and some of you guys, know all about thongs. They even have a song out about them, the Thong Song. Well personally I cant see why anyone wants to deliberately wear something that crawls up the crack, but to each her own. Anyway, after about round nine, or ten, it seems that you butt goes numb. And you forget you have something wedged between the cheeks. And in the hurry of flushing out a few drinks in the bathroom to make room for more, you can fail to remember you even have them on, hence wetting them. So, what do you do? You cant keep them on…so you remove them, wash them out, then hang them in the shower, thinking, I will let them dry then put them back on.
Of course after a few more, you forget all about the flimsy piece of fabric hanging behind the shower curtain drying . And of course, you go home without them.
Well the next day, my husband found them. Swinging them around , Steve came out asking me “yours?” Once informed as to who’s they were, and considering his friend, the husband, left early the night before forgetting his wife at our place, ( lucky the just lived next door… we were spared a drive by drop off ), he of course could not resist in calling his friend up and informing him, “hey, your ol’ lady left her underwear at my place…”
After a pause, our neighbor replied… Really? … well damn! Let me check something… Damn, She made it home …Hey, You didn’t happen to find my beer coozie did you?? I would hate to lose it”
Ahhh ……Male priorities ….
Next time … the boobs….
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