Half Irish - Half Italian - All love

 I grew up in a mixed household. Yes, I am a half breed. Half Irish - half Italian. Proud to say second generation in this country.

But back when my parents got married, crossing the nationality lines was one of the things you where not suppose to do. And in the Boston area, mixing Irish into Italian bloodlines was…. Well…. a mortal sin that could cause the sky to fall and set off the apocalypse. But Dad was a bit of a hoodlum and fell for an Irish Miss from the ’wrong side of town’.

Now, normally that back then could set off an ex-communication from the family. But if they did that, they would have had to cut off some of his nine sisters as well. They looked at my Mom and figured they would grant permission because:

1. at least she talked ‘normal’, not like the guy my Aunt married. ( damn Irish Brogue !)
2. She wasn’t … (gasp!)… POLISH like that big eared guy one of the other sisters married.
3. She wasn’t already related . ( yes one married a cousin….had to get permission from the Pope for that one - BUT he WAS Italian so… hey)
4. She WAS Catholic. That is a plus!
5. Everyone knew their youngest son was bullheaded, stubborn, and a “hoodlum” anyway.
6.  She was what is called ‘Black Irish’ Dark hair, dark eyes, and could pass off as Italian. Heck, she looked more Italian than their green eyed son.
7. Most Important....Irish are known breeders. OK, the bloodline may be ‘tainted’ but out of 11 kids my grandparents only had 2 sons, the oldest son was not breeding many, so we got to keep the name going somehow.

Now if they can just get her to stay quiet about the Irish part, things would be good.

Well Mom did good on never speaking with a brogue, went to church, even dyed her hair darker to increase the appearance of looking Italian. And she cooked spaghetti once a week and could make the meanest antipasto around. But when it came to the breeding end….. Well she told us kids that never happened.

They had three children … myself the oldest, then five years later my sister, then five years after that my brother. Two girls and a boy and it ’only’ took them 11 years to have the first one and 21years to complete the litter. We were all ‘gifts from God’ , not sex, immaculate conception was the way we came to be, just ask her and she would tell you so. Wish she did…. Often…once we reached the teen years. That was her infamous ‘Birds and the Bees’ talk. “If God wants you to have kids, he will give you kids, and you don’t have to have sex….we didn’t”

Now if she told us that a young kids, we may have bought it. But as teens the theory just didn’t wash. As she came to realize we have figured out what actually ‘caused’ kids, the story shifted to “ We only had sex three times, hence the three of you.”

Now considering Mom was 31 when she had me and 41 when she finally produced the “prince” son, that put her pushing 50 when the ‘birds and the bees’ talks started. And it also meant at my age she had a 10 year old to deal with.

I look back now, and think no wonder when she started forgetting things, acting a little odd we didn’t catch it. Having to deal with three kids, the pressure to produce the crowned prince to carry on the family name, and having us all so late in life would cause any woman who wanted to have kids early a little nutty. And no, the three of us where not angels by any means. But what we missed was the onset of Alzheimer’s.

I was finally told about the confirmation of the disease , for some reason, the rest of the family didn’t want to ‘worry’ me, and living so far away, they could hide it for a while.

I was able to visit and say my ‘Goodbyes’ before she totally forgot me. Well she knew me, was just a little shocked to see me around again.

The good thing is she never lost her memory of my Dad, and loved having him beside her. They shared a special kind of love that knew no boundaries. Certainly not one of nationalities. And my grandparents saw it.

My mother passed away in 2005 a few days after their 57th Anniversary. She is thought of daily, missed always, but she is still with us. All of us have had strange things happen that we swear is “Mom” …Heck, she said she would haunt us and we believe her … why wouldn't we? We are immaculate conception children.

I miss you Mom…. 111