Party On ... just dont forget what you came with - part one

There is nothing I enjoy more than entertaining my friends. I am often called upon to host the get - to-gethers and my Mom always called my “the Hostess with the Mostess” Plenty of food, and of course plenty of ‘beverages’. Crank up the karaoke system and we are good to go….especially after round seven …or was it eight?


Now everyone has had those great parties where you spend days returning left behind objects to the guests whom had SUCH a great time, they simply forgot they brought things with them. You know, things like jackets, shoes, handbags, cellphones, cooler, spouses, kids, underwear, boobs.

Yes, all have been left behind at my place.

Now some things, like purses, cellphones, and coolers them quickly retrieve. ( especially if coolers still have some beer in it) Other things, especially the spouses and kids, we have to really make them take them back… even going are far as doing a drive by drop off…. You know … slow the car down just enough to toss them out then peel rubber down the street. But those are items people call and ask if we have seen them. But the odder items, underwear and Boobs, well, its like they totally forgot they had them with them.

Both underwear and boobs where unexpected ‘gifts’ at Christmas time.

The Underwear first. Ladies, and some of you guys, know all about thongs. They even have a song out about them, the Thong Song. Well personally I cant see why anyone wants to deliberately wear something that crawls up the crack, but to each her own. Anyway, after about round nine, or ten, it seems that you butt goes numb. And you forget you have something wedged between the cheeks. And in the hurry of flushing out a few drinks in the bathroom to make room for more, you can fail to remember you even have them on, hence wetting them. So, what do you do? You cant keep them on…so you remove them, wash them out, then hang them in the shower, thinking, I will let them dry then put them back on.

Of course after a few more, you forget all about the flimsy piece of fabric hanging behind the shower curtain drying . And of course, you go home without them.

Well the next day, my husband found them. Swinging them around , Steve came out asking me “yours?” Once informed as to who’s they were, and considering his friend, the husband, left early the night before forgetting his wife at our place, ( lucky the just lived next door… we were spared a drive by drop off ), he of course could not resist in calling his friend up and informing him, “hey, your ol’ lady left her underwear at my place…”

After a pause, our neighbor replied… Really? … well damn! Let me check something… Damn, She made it home …Hey, You didn’t happen to find my beer coozie did you?? I would hate to lose it”

Ahhh ……Male priorities ….

Next time … the boobs….